The relationship between teachers and parents is an extremely powerful component in student success. Yet so many parents go through the school year without communicating with the teacher or understanding what to do (or avoid) to make the most of the year.
I have been working in a school that highly values relationships between home-school and teacher-child, we have an open door policy and invites families into the classrooms frequently. I continue to learn about the relationship between home and school; beyond the communication, there is mutual trust, transparency, respect, interdependency, team learning and accountability. Effective home-school partnership requires conscious effort. In light of my current stand with the families I am working with, I have been reflecting a lot on trust and been sharing my perspective with others. Trust is an individual feeling, different people build trust differently. I know many people who say that they trust me, but I do not always feel that trust, it is not transparent to me.
However, I and my (recently graduated) peers do feel under appreciated and tired from the parents' expectations and demands (using these terms loosely). Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 3-5 years [*personal experiences], and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest preschool teachers.
Thus, from the bottom of my heart, there are several things I wish parents knew before sending their children to school/group care.
Thus, from the bottom of my heart, there are several things I wish parents knew before sending their children to school/group care.
1. We are on the same team
We truly care about your children and we watches them grow up in our care and we want them to be successful. The child's success is our success too. When we contacts you about a problem or something that happened at school, understand that we are trying to work with you to resolve any conflicts that may be getting in the way of your child's success. We are on the same team.
Please have a leap of faith in our feedback. Just because a child doesn't exhibit a particular behavior at home doesn't mean he doesn't exhibit that behavior in the classroom. So if we shares a particular behavior that you haven't seen before, don't rush to say, "Well, I've never seen him do that, he learnt it in school." The classroom and home environments are quite different, and often times children behave differently when forced to follow rules and work with peers. So, do have an open mind and listen to what the teacher has to say as we work together towards a solution.
We truly care about your children and we watches them grow up in our care and we want them to be successful. The child's success is our success too. When we contacts you about a problem or something that happened at school, understand that we are trying to work with you to resolve any conflicts that may be getting in the way of your child's success. We are on the same team.
Please have a leap of faith in our feedback. Just because a child doesn't exhibit a particular behavior at home doesn't mean he doesn't exhibit that behavior in the classroom. So if we shares a particular behavior that you haven't seen before, don't rush to say, "Well, I've never seen him do that, he learnt it in school." The classroom and home environments are quite different, and often times children behave differently when forced to follow rules and work with peers. So, do have an open mind and listen to what the teacher has to say as we work together towards a solution.
2. Don't go over the teacher's head.
If you're having an issue with us or your child, the subject matter or the classroom in general, talk directly with the teacher before going to the principal or other administrators. For instance, you discovered a scratch on your child's body and you are worried, do drop us an email or phone call. There is no need to write a complaint letter about "negligence in care" and share it with the big bosses. We feel bad when your child is hurt too, so we don't deserve to feel even worse by your comments. Children fall down and get hurt in group care settings and good teachers really invest efforts to prevent any possible physical injuries through reminders, shifting of classroom furniture etc.
If you're having an issue with us or your child, the subject matter or the classroom in general, talk directly with the teacher before going to the principal or other administrators. For instance, you discovered a scratch on your child's body and you are worried, do drop us an email or phone call. There is no need to write a complaint letter about "negligence in care" and share it with the big bosses. We feel bad when your child is hurt too, so we don't deserve to feel even worse by your comments. Children fall down and get hurt in group care settings and good teachers really invest efforts to prevent any possible physical injuries through reminders, shifting of classroom furniture etc.
3. Norms of a group care setting
Placing your child in a group care setting means having your child sharing the teachers' attention, care and school's resources with other children concurrently as well. As much as we wish to prevent it, there are instances when your child fell down yet teachers did not managed to see the fall. This is because children are running all about within the space and teachers could be engaged helping other children or simply got block by fixed fittings to miss their fall. We are humans and mistakes happens. Further, teachers are showering children in groups, things bound to get misplaced. Children are learning to be responsible and teachers are showering/diapering/dressing up seven to ten children at the same time, have some heart.
Placing your child in a group care setting means having your child sharing the teachers' attention, care and school's resources with other children concurrently as well. As much as we wish to prevent it, there are instances when your child fell down yet teachers did not managed to see the fall. This is because children are running all about within the space and teachers could be engaged helping other children or simply got block by fixed fittings to miss their fall. We are humans and mistakes happens. Further, teachers are showering children in groups, things bound to get misplaced. Children are learning to be responsible and teachers are showering/diapering/dressing up seven to ten children at the same time, have some heart.
It does sucks to have your kid's socks missing, let's be understanding. We can retrieve these missing items by checking in with other families and teachers. So, don't yell at us.
4. Be consistent
You are a good parent and you wish to give the best to your child. But you realized that it is so challenging to make them eat vegetables at home or tame their tantrums at home yet they are angels in school. Indeed, children behave differently at home and in school. As they spend a good 8-12 hours in school, teachers can see their not-so-good behaviors and rectify it by disciplining your child. Thus, do work with the teachers to instill consistency in disciplining your child at home and in school. We are helping you and your child.
Don't ask the teacher why my 3 year old haven't start on potty learning, but ask yourself are you ready to commit to your son's potty learning? Often, parents are too focused at work and could not commit their time and efforts with their child at home (getting trainers, be prepared for wetting, extra clothes, consistent pee schedule). In the case of toilet learning, we need parents to be supportive and work with the school. Some "busy" parents, honestly, are causing their child to lag behind their developmental milestones.
Don't ask the teacher why my 3 year old haven't start on potty learning, but ask yourself are you ready to commit to your son's potty learning? Often, parents are too focused at work and could not commit their time and efforts with their child at home (getting trainers, be prepared for wetting, extra clothes, consistent pee schedule). In the case of toilet learning, we need parents to be supportive and work with the school. Some "busy" parents, honestly, are causing their child to lag behind their developmental milestones.
5. Be involved
Speaking of "busy", I understand that parents these days are holding executive positions, exercising to look good, network for better work prospects while juggling milk bottles and diapers. Yes, work-life balance is tough, some may say - impossible. But please, be committed to your child's development by being there for them. They grow up once, and they are growing up too fast.
Do read their home-school communication file to know what is going on with the class, do volunteer your time to participate in class' activities and do spend time to talk to them about their feelings. Ask yourself what can you do more for your child.
Speaking of "busy", I understand that parents these days are holding executive positions, exercising to look good, network for better work prospects while juggling milk bottles and diapers. Yes, work-life balance is tough, some may say - impossible. But please, be committed to your child's development by being there for them. They grow up once, and they are growing up too fast.
Do read their home-school communication file to know what is going on with the class, do volunteer your time to participate in class' activities and do spend time to talk to them about their feelings. Ask yourself what can you do more for your child.
6. Be kind
Honestly, teachers are paid to do their job and passion and gratitude does keep us going. So, there is no need to buy fancy teachers' day gifts once a year, when you hardly appreciate us on a daily basis. We appreciate your kind words like "please", "thank you so much" and "I appreciate your hard work" much much more than your expensive festive cookies and mugs. Parents ought to set good examples to children by being kind to their teachers. When children see their parents and teachers working well, they learn to pass on their kindness and empathy to their peers; making the world a better place.
When parents are quick to complain about their children's teachers, teachers are walking on eggshells. I feel sorry for good teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lacks the courage to be honest and speak their mind. If we make a slight mistake, it could be a major disaster.
Honestly, teachers are paid to do their job and passion and gratitude does keep us going. So, there is no need to buy fancy teachers' day gifts once a year, when you hardly appreciate us on a daily basis. We appreciate your kind words like "please", "thank you so much" and "I appreciate your hard work" much much more than your expensive festive cookies and mugs. Parents ought to set good examples to children by being kind to their teachers. When children see their parents and teachers working well, they learn to pass on their kindness and empathy to their peers; making the world a better place.
When parents are quick to complain about their children's teachers, teachers are walking on eggshells. I feel sorry for good teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lacks the courage to be honest and speak their mind. If we make a slight mistake, it could be a major disaster.
Hence, I would like to encourage parents to be partners instead of a prosecutor. We know you love your children. We love them, too. We need you to trust us, support us and work with us, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. So, lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best childhood possible.
That's a teacher's promise, from us to you.
