Overcoming self-doubts as a new teacher

I feel that my inexperience can bite me in the butt sometimes. I really hope that my lack of experience will not be detrimental for these children’s growth and development. After spending five year of tertiary education and merely six months of work, I noticed that I only have superficial knowledge, I possess a wide range of know-knows but I lack depth and credible examples. 

Recently, it was my first time planning a field trip (from scratch) for the preschoolers and I thought that it was challenging. I have many ideas and places to go for the older children but when it comes to thinking for the really young ones, I struggled a little. I learnt that there are many factors to consider in planning the trip, like the children and parents’ needs, timings and weathers, intentions and rationale. 

Usually on my way home, I reflect on how my day with the children, colleagues and parents went. There are days when I feel lousy, there are days when I feel satisfied (thankfully, more of the latter). Furthermore, when the self-doubts overwhelms my own thinking, I feel very depressed. I can honestly feel that I am struggling with the responsibilities, pressure and expectations as a new teacher. Even though, I often remind myself to enjoy the teaching process than to overthink, it is tougher than I expect. I like my job but I am too uptight kanchiong, too afraid to make mistakes, worry too much and scares myself with worst case scenarios. 

Furthermore, I often asked myself if “I am a bad teacher” because I am so immersed with my overthinking and self-doubts. Then again, I asked myself “What defines a good teacher?” and I always have different definitions for every different work experiences. There are days when I think a good teacher “is a creator of a well-regulated children”, “patience and understanding”, “a survivor”, “has good teaching intentions”… I really don’t know what defines a good teacher. Oh well, it is a learning process. 

Nonetheless, I often remind myself that we were not created to be perfect and no matter how hard we try we will never be. Practice may not make perfect but it makes it permanent. I need to continue to gain experience, reflect on them, and work on making it better.

Biggest takeaways from ECDA Conference 2015

Anyone who knows me know I love to go to school and study. So, I have been really excited to go to this year ECDA conference. Asides from it being a class reunion, I learnt new knowledge that can be used in my teaching. 

Three biggest takeaway

1. From "Unleashing creative confidence in play", I learnt that preschoolers' problem solving skills is better than college graduate. I am confident that my preschoolers are competent and capable individuals that can solve problems independently, but to know that they are so good at it, it makes me feels great! In the TED video, it describes how preschoolers think, facilitate and engaged in teamwork cohesively while college graduates performed teamwork aimlessly in an egocentric manner. 

Thus, I am empowered to appreciate each child's uniqueness than to embrace conformity in my own teaching. I would provide play materials that encourages openness and creativity and to encourage innovation in their play. Lastly, I shall not discipline them by subjecting them to the judgement of the other children. For instance, "When you shout and scream so loud at the mall, how do you think others are looking at you?", "What do you think your friends think about you?". When we speak to them in such a demeaning manner, they are often coerced to be someone the society wants him to be than to be themselves.

easier to build a child than to rebuild an adult

2. I learnt that there are serious implications for the very young ones who are exposed to group care. It is even worse if the educators are not caring enough. Based on "Building trusting relationships with infants and toddlers", we learnt about the importance and significance of  responsive, reciprocal and respectful curriculum for the very young ones. It reminds me to provide plenty of sensorial learning experiences and to enjoy the process of working with young children. Personally, I am observing and documenting my toddlers development on a weekly basis as I continue to understand their milestones and achievements. To be honest, it is tough to resist the urge to rush in our hurried society. I need to be patient, slow down and give them unhurried time to explore and respond.

Storigami; simplicity at its best.

3. I am a huge fan of children's literature and I learnt a new way of narrating story. How exciting! Storigami is the art of telling stories through origami. I realised that I often provide children with books filled with illustrations and words. How about wordless books? Nonetheless, we need to cultivate good reading habits since toddler hood and exposed them to a wide array of books. For instances, books with rhymes, books for enjoyments, books on managing change.